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TOPIC: Rant - I don't remember ordering DRAMA with a side of STRESS

Rant - I don't remember ordering DRAMA with a side of STRESS 15 years 3 months ago #1

Ok, some of you know my mom and I have been going thru a lot lately, what with her health problems and everything. We've also been very stressed about a family situation, that I couldn't post about before now, because she wasn't ready for it to be made public. <br /><br />A few months ago, Mom decided she was finally ready to seriously think about leaving my stepdad. This is a good thing, and way overdue. He has been emotionally abusive, and sometimes even physically abusive, for many years. He has depression/mental health issues, and has even been in the hospital twice for attempted suicide. She wasn't ready to tell him yet, as she wanted to figure out how she was going to live if she went thru with it, and she was also waiting for me to finish updating their financial records. This part calls for a little background info...<br /><br />I have for several years worked for my mom doing all her bookkeeping, both for their business, and personally. I am several months behind getting all the receipts entered in the accounting programs, which is my fault. But she wanted everything to be up-to-date so it would be easier to discuss things with him, and in the event she decided to with a separation.<br /><br />Then, she started having seizures. As I have previously posted, she came to stay with me to recuperate, since it is stressful at their house (they have been running the business from home). Long story "shortened", he has totally flipped out, and accused her (and me by extension) of embezzling and hiding extremely large amounts of money. We haven't. The business has been operating at a loss for several years. She tried on several occassions to make him realize they were getting in over their head, but was never able to have a rational conversation with him. He would start throwing things, and then deny that she ever tried to talk to him. He claims he has been asking for months for all the financial details, and what all the staff's responsibilities and duties were, but that she refused to tell him. This in untrue, but when someone is totally irrational, there is no way to convince them of something they refuse to believe. <br /><br />Anyway, Mom and I are extremely glad we already had plans to leave town today (we will be out of state for over a week). We are fearful of him becoming violent. He left her several voicemails threatening legal action, has changed the locks on the doors, and even closed the joint checking account, taking out all the money. We think we have enough funds to cover the trip, since we prepaid for some things and had already withdrawn some travelling money. But it's going to be very tight. And she has no idea if she will be able to retrieve her clothing and other personal belongings when we return. She has the legal right to enter the property and get them, but he may have destroyed them by then. It wouldn't be the first time he's trashed stuff. <br /><br />Of course, all this stress is the last thing she needs right now. It doesn't help knowing that she and I are both out of a job. She isn't in a position to get another one with her current health issues, and it will be difficult for me to find one that will pay the bills while also allowing me to care for her and have the freedom to take her to all her medical appointments. She has already started collecting social security, but $800 a month won't even pay for her health insurance and prescriptions. Thank heavens Kevin is ok with her staying with us for a while. It also helps that almost everyone, including several members of my stepdads family, are on Mom's side, and willing to do whatever they can to help. But the down side is he is a fairly well known business professional, and can be quite charming, so most of the "public" will be shocked by any claims we make about his mental status.<br /><br />I know I'm rambling, but I just had to get some of this off my chest, and out in the open. Thanks for letting me rant.
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Re: Rant - I don't remember ordering DRAMA with a side of STRESS 15 years 3 months ago #2

Sometimes a person just has to rant and it sounds like this situation calls for it.  It sounds like your mom needs a good lawyer.  You're in my thoughts.  I have faith that things will work out okay.<br /><br />Kim
"It's not the years in your life that count, it's the life in your years."Abraham Lincoln

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Re: Rant - I don't remember ordering DRAMA with a side of STRESS 15 years 3 months ago #3

Heidi,<br /><br />I am so sorry to hear about your situation.  With all thats going on, you don't need more to worry about.  A couple of words of advice I have been given from good friends over the years during some difficult times:<br /><br />* When things are really bad, just remember, they are always bound to get better<br />* Things are never as bad as they first appear<br />* Keep positive and focus on whats working<br />* Always continue to put aside time for both yourself and your marriage<br />* A good plan can be very comforting<br />* There is always a solution.  You just need to find it<br /><br />Please keep us posted and vent any time.  =^)<br />
"I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use." - Galileo Galilei

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Re: Rant - I don't remember ordering DRAMA with a side of STRESS 15 years 3 months ago #4

Hey Sweetie,<br /><br />I'm sorry things have been so stressful for you lately. *hugs* You have my number, if you ever need to vent please feel free to call I'm here for you. I'm sorry I can't seem to do much more. *HUGS* You're in my thoughts and prayers sweetie. *hugs*<br />And my kitty Cocoa sends kitty kisses your way and comforting purrs.
'Whenever I feel blue, I remind myself to breathe again.'

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Re: Rant - I don't remember ordering DRAMA with a side of STRESS 15 years 3 months ago #5

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HUGS for you and your Mom, Heidi.<br />And Kudos to Kevin for being understanding about this.
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Re: Rant - I don't remember ordering DRAMA with a side of STRESS 15 years 3 months ago #6

Misery Loves Company<br /><br />Hey Lesimony,<br /><br />  You have my ultimate aympathy for I'm in a very awkward situation myself.<br /><br />1. My landlord is selling my house and I have til Dec 1 to move out.<br />2. The rental market in Edmonton is ludicrous and very hard to find a decent house/townhouse/condo for a decent price that won'y take all my husbands salary.<br />3. My husband just quit his job on Thursday because of verbal and emotional abuse from his boss. (So no salary currently though luckily we have some saved up)<br />4. My husband's old boss is his father and had two other employees both walk.  Note: The other two employees are my husband's brother and sister.<br />5. My husband's father was threatened by divorce by his wife because he was working so much.  He could be certified clinically insane because he hasn't been sleeping and has been working over 120 hours each week. (the 120 may be a bit much but I don't think its that far off the mark)<br />6. It is thanksgiving weekend and guess who I had to see/deal with yesterday.<br /><br />So Les my heart goes out to you and I hope you'll find your feet soon.  All the best for you and your mom.
Bad Poet Extraordinaire! - just ask the monsters who have munched on me because my party wanted to stop my incessant bad rhyming! <br /><br />I am like a ray of Sunshine!  Healthy and beneficial in moderation.

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Re: Rant - I don't remember ordering DRAMA with a side of STRESS 15 years 3 months ago #7

It may be good to note (*for us Americans) that last weekend was Canadian Thanksgiving.  I just found out last week myself or I would be totally questioning why you had Thanksgiving in October.  :lol:

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Re: Rant - I don't remember ordering DRAMA with a side of STRESS 15 years 3 months ago #8

Heidi -<br /><br />I know this might sound weird at first, but I want to say congratulations to your mom for making the decision.  It's a very difficult (and courageous) decision for a woman in that kind of relationship to make.  My mom did the same thing with her first husband (not my dad).  It was a rough time for her for a couple years while she struggled to get her life back in order, but it was one of the best things she ever did for herself and my older (half) siblings.<br />Also, you are awesome for sticking by your mom and helping her through this.<br />I wish you both the very best.<br /><br />  Linda

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Re: Rant - I don't remember ordering DRAMA with a side of STRESS 15 years 3 months ago #9

You are always in my thoughts and prayers.

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