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TOPIC: Postings at the Tavern

Postings at the Tavern 17 years 9 months ago #37

Zifnab,
Camilla the ferral chicken is once again in our possesion!

Our time to strike is nigh!

Come at once to the usual place at the anointed hour and bring the golden pantaloons! We shall prevail...oh and Ugh the fuzzy dwarf says to bring your own blasted ale this time...his words not mine.

And Remember...All your base are belong to us!

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Postings at the Tavern 17 years 9 months ago #38

HASTUR! HASTUR! HASTUR!

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Postings at the Tavern 17 years 9 months ago #39

*FOR SALE!*

1 Sturdy White Gazebo

1 Elvish sword of great antiquity

1 Battery-powered brass lantern (Froboz magic lantern Co.)

For details please see the Grue in the pantry of the Welcoming Wench Inn.

Please to extinguish all lights before entering. Thanks...

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Postings at the Tavern 17 years 9 months ago #40

Have you ever been chased up a tree by a pack of angry orcs?

Been set on fire by a deadly trap and tried to douse the flames by rolling around in a puddle of lamp oil?

Watched your friends be mauled by a ferral plant as you foolishly attack a defensless shrubbery?

If you can answer yes to any of these questions then you need to buy the Happy Kender Henchman (tm.)

Yes these annoying yet usefull little guys imported direct from distant Krynn are the perfect item in any Adventuring Party's equipment.

Don't want to risk the thief...Then send the HKH on ahead into trap infested corridors. Worried about max weight limits...simply pile on the treasure with the Happy Kender Henchman present. Or just spend hours of fun tossing shinny objects down stairs and watch them scurry.

Simply inquire at the Mad Rabbit Tradding Co. and speak to Jaysen of West Berry.

The Happy Kender Henchman...Own One Today!

*Sold while supplies last; Not sold in some realities and to most Paladins*

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Postings at the Tavern 17 years 9 months ago #41

Hey Jenn,

Could you drop in a couple for me. They're geared toward some specific adventurers I know:

LORD CYPHER ANGORAN:

Where hast thou hidden now? Step thee upon yon field of battle where mine might might smite thee mightily and mine strengthly Paladinhood shall shatter your puny and petite little spine with a body slam that will make the very timbers 'neath Mount Stormreach splinter and cry "mercy"!

--SIR RANDO STILTENFELD


In a seperate note:

Seeking cleric with lots of healing and resurection scrolls looking to assist too-fearless Paladin who is tired of being unconsious or dead. Contact Lord Cypher Angoran


I'll post more when I get time. Got to get back to building True Heroes stuff. Thanks!

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Postings at the Tavern 17 years 9 months ago #42

Awesome idea. I can't wait to point mine out to my friends.
This one is inspired by a campaign from a few years ago.


REWARD!!!
Missing 50 kegs of Oil. Last seen in Wood-Elven treetop village before it mysteriously burned down.


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Postings at the Tavern 17 years 9 months ago #43

Half-Orc male seeks Half-Elf female in order to procreate hybrid quarter-orc, quarter-elf, half-human genetic freak.

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Postings at the Tavern 17 years 9 months ago #44

Are you bothered by those peskie kobold and unsightly orcs that always get in the way of your treasure hunting fun ?

Deep Dungeons off Guarnted to keep all sorts of foul a vile creatures at bay for a full 1d10+1 Hours per bottle used. Safe to use on humans gnomes, dwarfs and even elfs.


WARNING: Dose not protect agianst Dragons and other dungeon dweller not covered in Ad


Derf the tinkergnome inc.

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Postings at the Tavern 17 years 9 months ago #45

Wes M- About your Spoon of Stirring... EM Forster says that Spoon feeding in the long run teaches us nothing but the shape of the spoon. Remember, no man can cross Spoon River twice...
- Uri
When all signs point to Rome, Diane, it’s time to buy Lira and go. - Agent Dale Cooper
2004 Gen Con's True Dungeon ○ 2005 Assault Atop Castle Greyhawk ○ 2005 Battle Beneath Castle Greyhawk ○ 2005 True Heroes "Avengers Assemble!" ○ 2006 Escape the Spider Cult (VIP) ○ 2008 Hope for the Lost ○ 2009 With Smoak Comes Fire ○ 2009 The Five Aspects ○ 2009 True Grind ○ 2010 DragonWard ○ 2010 The Evading Hilt ○ ... and beyond!

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Postings at the Tavern 17 years 9 months ago #46

I have absolutley no idea what some of these mean but they seem pg-13 so they are on the board.

All notice board requests must be posted by noon (central)on Friday August 13.
Jenn<br /><br />Recovered Wench

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Postings at the Tavern 17 years 9 months ago #47

Wanted: New Allies

Our ally, Dungeon Master, has been kidnapped by the forces of Venger, the ultimate source of evil. Any assistance in the return of Dungeon Master, the defeat of Venger, and our return home would be appreciated.

But be forewarned, the battle of good versus evil is a rollercoaster ride of epic proportions. Expect twenty-two minutes of highs and lows before its all over (this time).
"As soon as men decide that all means are permitted to fight an evil, then their good becomes indistinguishable from the evil that they set out to destroy."~Christopher Dawson

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Postings at the Tavern 17 years 9 months ago #48

Fallen Adventurer:

ML Jackson wake planned for Friday evening, don't be late! There will be a lot of spirits raised in his spirit's honour. BYOS (Bring Your Own Story) to share!
"As soon as men decide that all means are permitted to fight an evil, then their good becomes indistinguishable from the evil that they set out to destroy."~Christopher Dawson

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